its been such a long time... since anyone hooked onto my arm, and lie on my shoulder.. it was a really nice feeling. one that i really enjoy. such cosy-ness, with a tint of 幸福-ness..? on my part at least.. lol. ("cosy-ness, with a tint of 幸福-ness"??? amazing how i try to describe the feeling with my limited knowledge of descriptive words.. haha.)
i wish it would have gone on forever... lol
hmmm.. after some stoning and thinking.. i think.. shy isnt the right word to use to describe me at certain times.. because, (at least this is wad im thinking...) i'm not your bf.. (as of now? though i really wished i am.. haha..).. thus.. i dont know what i can.. or cannot do.. whether certain actions will be too over, thus making it look awkward.. or too little.. thus making me look shy..
*i would love to hold ur hand.. knowing that ur hand feels emtpy.. i would love to support ur waist.. knowing that u often mis-step and tend to stumble a little.. i would love to offer u my arm.. for u to hold on too.. and my shoulder.. for u to rest ur head on.. knowing that u are feeling tired.. i would love to hug and hold on to u longer.. knowing that u too.. need such a feeling of tenderness.. and most of all.. i would love to provide u with warmth.. knowing that u will feel cold quite easily...i wish.. to ask u to be my gf...*
there are many things that u have told be before.. and i completely understand where ur coming from.. i think.. i will always remain "shy", at least until u have achieved the stability that u are currently searching for.. (*dreaming-mode* or... at least until u are willing to accept me as.. maybe something more..? haha..)
because.. knowing that u do not wish to allow urself to have a partner at this point in time.. i too.. cannot allow myself to attempt anything too drastic.. cos i should be giving u support.. instead of deterring u.. cos.. im afraid that if i do too much, u might back away.. and that.. i certainly do not want happening..
and besides, as of now.. with u being so determine to not have a r/s.. if i do try.. i would certainly fail.. wouldnt i? lol. and that would definitely affect whatever good and enjoyable time we're having together right now.. which isnt wad i want, because.. wad i want.. is to be with u.. lol.. (if not in those thosseee sense.. than its in the "go out together play be happy" kind of sense)
we still have a whole list of things that we will be doing together, and i am really looking forward to each and everyone of them.. and even more ^^
i think this is one battle that will slowly unravel with time.. (hopefully sooner rather than later.. cos i hv a theory.. but i'll talk about it some other time.. haha..) if.. i make it through.. i think.. i will be one hack of a fortunate guy. and i sincerely believe that.. u too.. will be a hack of a fortunate girl.. because.. if it all ends well.. u would have a much better balance to ur hopes and dreams.. and on top of that maybe even a having a partner that is able to take on ur ambition and ur limited nonsense? lol..
meanwhile, of cos, i will certainly try to improve on my "shyness", hope to hit that 50% that u mentioned.. haha.. and will improve on other things as well.. and strive in my studies.. and my career too..! its for my own good afterall. ^^
*daydreaming-start*
well... for all of the above.. unless.... u are willing to.. accept.. me.. as something more than a good friend.. sooner rather than later? lol.. well.. i can dream.. can i? haha.. omg.. wad on earth am i talking about.. lol.. (ps. okie.. i pray tt i didnt scare u away already.. lol.)
*daydreaming-stop*
blehh.. suddenly all these sounds like its a script out of a fairytale channel 8 drama.. lol.. and long-winded. ;p i tend to think alot.. if u ppl haven already realised.. haha..
but i guess.. these are my current thoughts on my current situation, and i dont want it to bottle up in me.. so there u go..! lol.
hmm.. till the nxt time~ ciao..!
.miracle happen at 8:34 PM.
